You know what guys, I have been thinking of separating my portfolio blog from my personal blog. The fact is you cannot stay anonymous over the internet. Its tough especially if you are not an internet geek. And I know, ‘its been ages since I last blogged’ this line… I have been noticing comes at the start of most of my posts. Should I keep this as my intro from now on? Let me know what you think.
Now for some serious stuff. This post is going to be about some of the lessons I’ve learnt in the past few months. I just finished and completed my dissertation for the MA. It was quite an ‘epiphanying’ experience or maybe not but I tell you what I have made some incredible discoveries about myself in the past few months; about journalism, my career and about life in general  ;-). Let me put it this way, I stopped partying at the end of April. I knew there was a lot to do, I had to find a work placement while researching for the dissertation. It was crazy, I still do not believe how I managed to complete it all. And a trip back home to Pakistan too haha. That was another experience, it reminded me of all the reasons why I can’t stay in Pakistan any more. Pff  Its true! There is a difference between love for your country and settling for a better life if you can. Any way now for the lessons, here we go:
Hard working if I try
This was a truly cathartic episode because after the success of my Ordinary levels things just took such a downward spiral I didn’t knew I had in me to redeem myself. And while all of that was happening, I was in college, confused, experimenting and discovering myself. I have been to extremes I can tell you it is not pretty. But at the end I must say that unless you learn and experience for your self why something is bad you wont ever stop doing it. I don’t just mean partying. One more thing I’ve learned to accept is that nothing is bad, that is just a matter of perspective, what is important is knowing what is good for you at the right time and keeping things moderated.
But enough on that, what I want to emphasize is that the past few months have made me realize that I can still achieve things when I put my mind to it, that I am not hooked on anything person, thing, place whatever, and when I decide to focus on something I make it happen. I really didn’t know I still had it in me but the whole process of researching and working on my dissertation project has sparked a very healthy combustion in my brain. I feel like I can do anything and that the world is full of opportunities!
Possible career path
Second thing I learned without going in to detail here is a possible career path. Now that is a big deal for me cause I have principles, I like to figure things out for myself. I remember as a child how everyone use to say ‘hey Ayaz mate you ask a lot of questions’ or ‘hey Ayaz you always sound confused’ or ‘hey Ayaz I don’t know where you are going with this mate’, well I can smirk back at every single one of those people and tell them you know what I know what I have to do , these are the fucking reasons and this is how it all makes sense, I may not be there yet but I am well on my way. And I know that if I fail, I took my best shot and that I have no regrets. Period. The important thing is that I give in my all and stuck by my beliefs.
On dating
This is a bit confusing for me. Cause it dwells in the domain of relationships and I am not really… well lets just say that apart from the basics I’m not the person you would wanna come for dating advice. But having said that I have learned a lot this year. Don’t get me wrong though I don’t mean to say I am a player like that but I know now how bad I was at reading all those signs that women give out. The sort of advice your parents are too shy to talk about, your friends are too inexperienced to give and your girlfriend is too scandalized to reveal. The best dating advice I’ve gotten so far has been from my housemates and a very special female friend (read: What do you remember of your time on Earth?) And you know my conclusion? And this is something not many people will tell you because usually you need to figure this out on your own about women; they are just like us mate, they have their needs just like you and me, the trick is to make it all happen when she is at sync with you. You will understand this when the time comes :-). Trust me. Also just let things take their natural course never rush. Another lesson I learnt. One final lesson I learned about women after coming to the UK was that desi girls are just different from white chicks. They just are. There is no formula, there is no solution, I don’t mean to say one is tartier than the other, they are just different. Very different. At the end it comes down to you, who you chose to spend your time with. The person that accepts you in all your fallacies and who can put up with your eccentricities is the person you should give a serious thought too.
Ayaz Ahmed Siddiqui 